A KIND WORD

PROVERBS 15:1-3

This story was told of General Robert E. Lee: Hearing General Lee speak in the highest terms to president Davis about a certain officer, another officer, greatly astonished, said to him, "General, do you know that the man of whom you speak so highly to the president is one of your bitterest enemies, and misses no opportunity to malign you?"

"Yes," replied General Lee, "but the president asked my opinion of him; he did not ask for his opinion of me."

Now I don't know about you, but that story convicts my heart. My flesh loves to get back. If someone says something against me, attacks me with words, I am not going to sing the praises of their abilities, no matter how good they might be. I will expose their faults, let people know what they are really like.

Now I don't care how you slice it, what kind of spiritual jargon you might like to use, that kind of response is not what God has called us to use. But we do like to justify our actions, make them righteous in our own eyes, even when they are not. It is as Proverbs 16:2 says "All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the spirits."

You see, we can justify anything in our own eyes, even murder. But when God weighs our actions, if they are contrary to His Word, we will come up far short no matter how much we may try.

Solomon, in Proverbs chapter 15 is going to deal with what comes flowing from our mouths. And as I have said, this is an issue that the Lord is working with me, and if I am struggling in this area, maybe some of you are also having difficulty. And so this morning we are going to look at what should flow from the lips of the righteous, what flows from the lips of the wicked, and what God thinks about all this. So if you would, please turn to Proverbs chapter 15, and lets begin reading in verse 1.

PROVERBS 15:1-3

"A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good."

The wisdom of the book of Proverbs is that it helps us to live skillfully in our walk with the Lord. And the beneficiary of a right relationship with God is man. It is when our relationship with God is askew, that our relationship with man disintegrates and degenerates into actions of the flesh, it is just plain ugly!

And so lets look at these areas this morning, that is THE LIPS OF THE RIGHTEOUS, THE LIPS OF THE UNRIGHTEOUS, and THE LORD IS WATCHING, to sum things up.

1. THE LIPS OF THE RIGHTEOUS

I don't know about you, but to me "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger" is a no brainer. Of course that is true. My mind understands that information. The problem is that my actions don't always line up with that which is true.

For example, if your spouse said something harsh, unkind, words to provoke you, would you be more inclined to speak a kind word to them or would you let them have it? I think many times we would let them have it with both barrels, taking no prisoners!

But think about that for a minute. When you responded with harsh words did that ever resolve the conflict? Of course not! Next time your spouse is angry, instead of pouring gasoline on the fire, say a kind word. Listen to what they are saying and for the bits of truth that may be hidden in all that anger. I will tell you this, from my own experience with people, if the fuel is not poured out upon the fire, the flames, for the most part, will go out. It is hard to yell at someone when they are speaking kind words to you.

But to respond in that manner, with kind words, is not easy. It goes against our flesh nature. You see, to repay evil for good is truly satanic. To repay good for good and evil for evil is basically human. It is an "Eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth" mentality. But God does not call us to respond either way. He tells us that we are to repay evil with good. And that my friends is truly a godly characteristic, not a human one.

Turn to Luke chapter 6 and listen to what Jesus said starting in verse 27. We read "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you...But if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. And if you lend to those from whom you hope to receive back, what credit is that to you? For even sinners lend to sinners to receive as much back. But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful." Luke 6:27-28, 32-36.

Notice how radical Jesus' statements are. The mentality of the day was the strict adherence of the law, they left no room for grace or mercy to be extended to people, and so Jesus showed them how they were to treat people, the way that God wanted them to. Jesus point is this, if we are only kind to those that are kind to us, then we are no different than the unsaved world. How true that is. Thus, we are to love those who hate us, those who are our enemies, those who curse us, those who spitefully use us! Why? Because then we will be showing the mercy of God to those who don't deserve it.

Jesus said in John 13:34-35, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." By our love others will know that we are disciples of Christ. Without that love, we are no different than the unsaved. That is a harsh reality that we must all pray about and ask God to help us with. One of the key distinguishing factors in a Christians life is the love he has towards people, without that we blend in with the world!

Think about it this way. God has been so merciful to us. We all were sinners and deserved death, but instead of death He gave us life through Jesus Christ. Thus, we should also be merciful to others just as our heavenly Father was merciful to us. In other words, error on the side of mercy instead of the law!

What do kind words do besides turn away wrath? In Proverbs 16:24 we read "Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones." Pleasant words are sweet to those receiving them. They are refreshing, satisfying just as the honeycomb. Pleasant words also bring forth health to people. Instead of tearing them down, destroying them, you are building them up, encouraging them. One person put it this way regarding this verse. He said "To say nice things when we can is a simple benefit we may bring a person, in mind and thence in body."

Charles Spurgeon gives us this illustration regarding our speech, our actions: "I once lived where my neighbor's garden was divided from me by only a very imperfect hedge. He kept a dog, and his dog was a shockingly bad gardener, and did not improve my plants. So, one evening, while I walked alone, I saw this dog doing mischief and being a long way off, I threw a stick at him, with some earnest advice as to his going home. This dog, instead of going home, picked up my stick and came to me with it in his mouth, wagging his tail. He dropped the stick at my feet and looked up to me most kindly. What could I do but pat him and call him a good dog, and regret that I had ever spoken roughly to him."

You see, instead of using words to cause division, sickness to the body, we can use our words to encourage people in the things they are doing right. In the New Testament Paul tells us in Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one." In other words, leave blessings wherever you go. Impact peoples lives for the better by what you say.

In James 1:19-20 we are told "So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God." God has given us one mouth and two ears and yet we speak twice as much as we should be listening. When we act in anger, wrath, when hate comes out of our mouths, it is not showing the righteousness of God in our lives and it gives others a warped picture of what God is like.

It is like Solomon said in Proverbs 16:32 "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city." Yes, it is much easier to capture a whole city than it is to control our own behavior, the things that come flowing from our lives. May we learn to give a soft answer, one that builds up instead of tears down as we are representatives of Christ!

Again Solomon says in Proverbs 15:23 "A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!" You see, there is a right time and the right words to say. When we speak the things of God in His time it is good. When we don't, well, that brings us to the next section we are going to be looking at, THE LIPS OF THE UNRIGHTEOUS!

2. THE LIPS OF THE UNRIGHTEOUS

Solomon is telling us that a fool spews out of his mouth foolishness. His words don't turn away wrath but encourage wrath to grow. Solomon said in Proverbs 12:18 "There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, But the tongue of the wise promotes health."

Notice how powerful our words can be! Our words can cut a person to pieces, destroy them or they can build a person up. Remember the old saying you heard when you were growing up, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!" And these words were said in response to people making fun of us, cutting us down, using harsh words towards us.

The reality of that is it is not completely true. Bones that are broken can heal over time. In fact, many times they will be even stronger than before. But a harsh words spoken like a sword being swung at a person can hurt for a lifetime. Think about the words that have been said to you or that you said to another, "I don't love you anymore!" Or "I hate you!" Or "You never do anything right!" Or "You will never amount to anything!" You get the picture, right?

Those words can and have destroyed relationships and many times, once said, they are hard to take back, even impossible. Listen to what Solomon says about people acting in a ungodly manner, saying things they shouldn't be saying. In Proverbs 16:27-30 we read "An ungodly man digs up evil, And it is on his lips like a burning fire. A perverse man sows strife, And a whisperer separates the best of friends. A violent man entices his neighbor, And leads him in a way that is not good. He winks his eye to devise perverse things; He purses his lips and brings about evil."

If you are a person who likes to dig up dirt on people, to gossip about them, cause division by the things you say, enticing people to join in your evil actions, you need to repent and get right with God. These things ought not to be in our lives. Division, strife, gossip and-so-on are not of God. They don't build people up but tear them down!

And truly it doesn't matter what someone did to you, that does not give you the license to repay evil for evil. I know the flesh wants to, but that is not what God wants in our lives. In John 1:17 we are told "For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ." We are very good at exposing everyone's sin, their breaking of the law, which came by Moses. But Jesus came in grace and truth, and that is how we are to respond to others.

Forgiveness, grace, mercy are not qualities we can develop by counting to 10, going to seminars, going to self-help groups. They are qualities that are given to us by God and as the Holy Spirit works in us, strengthening us, making us more like Him, we can allow Him to work or we can quench the work He is trying to do in us.

In Isaiah chapter 50 Jesus is speaking in the first person, and beginning in verse 4 He says "The Lord GOD has given Me The tongue of the learned, That I should know how to speak A word in season to him who is weary. He awakens Me morning by morning, He awakens My ear To hear as the learned. The Lord GOD has opened My ear; And I was not rebellious, Nor did I turn away." Isaiah 50:4-5.

Jesus, in His earthly ministry, is giving us a pattern to follow. He is saying that the Father is guiding Him in all areas of life, even His tongue. Because of that He is able to minister to those who are weary, those who are broken with words of encouragement. You see, Jesus would awake early to spend time with the Father and as the Father guided Him, it says that He was not rebellious but did those things that would be pleasing to the Father.

Let me illustrate this by the actions of Jesus found in John Chapter 8. In this portion of Scripture Jesus is in the temple and many people have gathered around Him to hear His words. Now the Scribes and the Pharisees were always looking for a way to catch Jesus breaking the Law of Moses. Thus, if Jesus contradicted what Moses had to say, and the people believed that Moses was a prophet of God, that would then make Jesus a false prophet and His popularity would plummet!

And on this day these religious leaders brought to Jesus a woman caught in the very act of adultery. Now this was obviously not something she did on the streets, which means these men set this woman up and watched her commit this act in order to bring her to Jesus and try to get Him to contradict the Law of Moses. You see, they saw Jesus as a man full of compassion with a forgiving spirit and yet, the Law said that anyone committing adultery would be put to death. They had Jesus trapped, or so they thought!

The Scribes and the Pharisees said to Jesus "...'Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?'" John 8:4-5. But Jesus kind of ignored their words and began to write on the ground. Now we are not told what He wrote, but I feel He wrote "Where is the man?" You see, it is hard to commit adultery with only one person. They were not interested in justice, but to catch Jesus, and if it took sacrificing a woman to do this, then so-be-it!

Whatever Jesus wrote they ignored and they kept after Him asking how He was going to judge in this matter. And Jesus said "...'He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.'" Now that must have bothered them, but not enough to cause them to depart yet.

Thus, Jesus begins to once again write on the ground and as He does we are told "And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst." What happened? I believe that at this point Jesus began to write the sins of these religious leaders on the ground, and as each one was exposed, they were convicted, they could not cast the first stone when they were just as guilty in breaking the Law, and so they began to leave one by one.

What happened to the woman who transgressed the Law? In John chapter 8, beginning in verse 10 we read "When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?' She said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.'" John 8:10-11. Jesus forgave her, had compassion upon her. Yes He could have pulled out the Law books and condemned her to death. But instead, Jesus came as a healer and a comforter. You see, the world was already condemned, Jesus came to save that which was condemned.

May we have that same kind of attitude as we minister to people, as we speak to people, that of healing and comfort. That we would point people back to Jesus in love. That our words would be sweet and healing to others. If He was merciful then we should be merciful. If He was forgiving then we should be forgiving. If He was loving then we should be loving. If He was patient then we should be patient. If He extended grace to people then so should we for we are His representatives.

3. THE LORD IS WATCHING

In Proverbs 15:3 we read "The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good." Now that can be comforting or convicting. If you are doing those things that God has called you to do, then there is no fear that God sees all you are doing and the motivations behind it. But if you are not, then knowing that everything is open and naked before the Lord truly does convict our heart, or at least it should. It should cause us to draw even closer to Him seeing our weakness and failure, for He is the only one that can truly help.

I think that this is an important aspect in our relationship with God, that He knows our hearts, He knows the things we do, for in knowing that it should help keep us walking down the right path. Of course God wants us to obey out of love, but if you are not going to do it out of love, then do it out of fear!

I want to leave you this morning with these closing thoughts. In Proverbs 17:9 Solomon says "He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends." Sometimes we just need to forgive and forget, give it over to God, and instead of building up walls, speaking harsh words, we can build lives by speaking words of love. If you insist on digging up past grievances, holding on to issues, being unforgiving, you will find that you are alienating yourself from your friends.

One person said "When we learn to love we also learn to cover and forget, and to overlook many faults in others."

One woman said to another woman "Don't you remember the mean things she said about you?" The other woman replied "I not only didn't remember, I distinctly remember forgetting!"

George Washington Carver, who was refused admission to a college because he was black, years after that incident someone asked him the name of that college. He answered "It doesn't matter!"

May love, the love of God be the driving force in all we do, in all that we say. May our words be refreshing to people, uplifting, encouraging. As Solomon said "A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, Keeping watch on the evil and the good." Proverbs 15:1-3.