Please turn in Your Bibles this morning to Acts chapter 15 as we look at the confrontation between Paul and Barnabas and see who was right and who was wrong! As you are turning to Acts chapter 15, listen to this story that will shed some light on what we will be looking at this morning. The story goes like this:
One day, two monks were walking through the countryside. They were on their way to another village to help bring in the crops. As they walked, they spied an old woman sitting on the edge of a river. She was upset because there was no bridge, and she could not get across on her own. The first monk kindly offered, “We will carry you across if you would like.” “Thank you,” she said gratefully, accepting their help. So the two men joined hands, lifted her between them and carried her across the river. When they got to the other side, they set her down, and she went on her way.
After they had walked another mile or so, the second monk began to complain. “Look at my clothes,” he said. “They are filthy from carrying that woman across the river. And my back still hurts from lifting her. I can feel it getting stiff.” The first monk just smiled and nodded his head.
A few more miles up the road, the second monk griped again, “My back is hurting me so badly, and it is all because we had to carry that silly woman across the river! I cannot go any farther because of the pain.” The first monk looked down at his partner, now lying on the ground, moaning. “Have you wondered why I am not complaining?” he asked. “Your back hurts because you are still carrying the woman. But I set her down five miles ago.”
That is what many of us are like in dealing with our families. We are that second monk who cannot let go. We hold the pain of the past over our loved ones’ heads like a club, or we remind them every once in a while, when we want to get the upper hand, of the burden we still carry because of something they did years ago.
Dr. Anthony T. Evans, Guiding Your Family in a Misguided World
This is a huge problem, not only for those who are not Christians, but it is also a huge problem for Christians as well. They need to be right, they refuse to let things go, and they carry these things to the grave with them many times. And if they do bury the hatchet they do so deep into the other persons back! This morning, as I have said, we are going to be looking at a dispute, an argument, a confrontation between Paul and Barnabas, what it resulted in, and then what they did with those feelings, that passion of who was right and who was wrong. With that said, let’s begin reading in Acts chapter 15, beginning in verse 36 and see what the Lord has for us this morning.
Paul is preparing for his second missionary journey, going to visit the brethren in Asia Minor, the ones he ministered to on his first missionary journey. And Paul tells Barnabas, his companion and co-laborer in Christ, to pack his bags, it is time to go. Excitement grew and Barnabas was ready to go and he wants to take his nephew John Mark along with them.
When Paul hears the name John Mark he became very upset. You see, on their first missionary journey John Mark was with them, but for some reason, maybe he was scared, maybe he was homesick, we don’t know for sure, but he left them there and returned home. In Acts 13:13 we are told, “Now when Paul and his party set sail from Paphos, they came to Perga in Pamphylia; and John, departing from them, returned to Jerusalem.”
Since John Mark left them the first time, probably making it more difficult for Paul, Paul was not going to let him come this time and take another chance that he would leave again. Paul’s confidence level with John Mark was zero! But Barnabas was determined to take John Mark; he wanted to give his nephew another chance. And this dispute over John Mark continued between Paul and Barnabas until they separated with violent emotions! It truly was not a pretty picture, and thus, Barnabas and John Mark went to Cyprus; and Paul and Silas went through Syria to Cilicia, to the area of Galatia in the opposite direction from Paul’s first missionary journey.
Two men, both Christians, brothers in the Lord, allow conflict to divide them, cause division among them. Paul, Mr. Evangelist had a passion for the lost, he wanted to see people come to Jesus, truly a soldier in this battle for souls. And then Barnabas, Mr. Encouragement, trying to build people up, encourage them in the work of Christ, never giving up on people, wanting to see their faith grow!
Thus, as you look at these two men and what they did, what they allowed to happen, who was right and who was wrong in this confrontation? I told you I would tell you the answer to this question, so here it goes. Paul was right, the Gospel message needed to go forward! Then again, Barnabas was right, encouraging, edifying believers is important! And they both were wrong in their actions and attitudes! Now you are probably thinking, “They both can’t be right. That is a cop-out!” Let me ask you this, does the Bible say who was right and who was wrong in this confrontation? No, the Bible doesn’t say who was right and who was wrong but it does show us that two godly men, both with good causes to fight for, can allow the flesh to overtake them and divide them. They let their feelings get in the way!
You see, as right as both were, they also were wrong, as I have said. You don’t see them praying about this situation, just the argument and the division. Barnabas could have been in submission to Paul, as he was leading this missionary journey. And Paul could have been more sensitive to what Barnabas was saying about John Mark. Thus, through prayer the Holy Spirit would have guided them to do the right thing!
Now if this is all we read regarding this confrontation we may come to the wrong conclusion. You see, there was reconciliation between Paul and Barnabas and Paul and John Mark. They were, down the road, able to humble themselves and put away their differences for the greater cause of Christ! Yes, they did leave in anger, they parted in a bad way, but then there was a healing that took place.
First of all let’s look at Barnabas. In I Corinthians 9:6 Paul says, “Or is it only Barnabas and I who have no right to refrain from working?” Some would not be impressed, but Paul makes Barnabas a co-laborer with him in the work of Christ. In Galatians 2:1, 9 Paul tells us, “Then after fourteen years I went up again to Jerusalem with Barnabas, and also took Titus with me. . . . . and when James, Cephas, and John, who seemed to be pillars, perceived the grace that had been given to me, they gave me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship, that we should go to the Gentiles and they to the circumcised.” You see, if there was still a rift between them, if Paul was still upset with Barnabas, he would not mention him in this epistle, but he does, and that tells me that those wounds of disagreement were now healed!
Now let’s look at John Mark, the one who caused this confrontation between Paul and Barnabas, and see how Paul feels about him now. In Colossians 4:10 Paul tells us, “Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you, with Mark the cousin of Barnabas (about whom you received instructions: if he comes to you, welcome him).” Notice, the hatred is gone and Paul is telling them to welcome John Mark if he comes to them.
In Philemon 23-24 we see Paul tell us regarding John Mark, “Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, greets you, as do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, Luke, my fellow laborers.” Notice, he is not an outsider, a loser, a quitter, but a fellow laborer in Christ! Again, a healing has occurred!
And lastly, in II Timothy 4:11, at the end of his life, Paul says; “Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for ministry.” John Mark is now useful to Paul in the work of God! What happened! Could it be the encouraging words of Barnabas that helped John Mark mature in the faith to the point where he is now a soldier for Christ, and the writer of the Gospel According to Mark? I think so!
So what does this have to do with you? Everything! You see, if you are at odds with someone in your family, the family of God, you need to reconcile those differences, and you need to let them go. “But what if I am right and they are wrong?” you say! Who was right and wrong here in Acts chapter 15? Does God tell us? No He doesn’t because this is not a matter of doctrine, foundational truths, it is a matter of love, of forgiveness, and thus, let it go!
As Christians, I think this is a huge lesson for us to learn because we like to be right! How many of you like to be wrong? I doubt if any of you do! The thing is, we can be so right that we are wrong! What does that mean? Simply, we can be so right about something, a certain issue, that it causes us to respond in a way that is ungodly; it brings about conflict, division, not edification and love. We too often allow our convictions to become law and we will fight to the death over them, and that is wrong. If God told you that watching television is wrong, don’t watch television, which is the right thing for you to do. But, as soon as you make this into a law, your conviction, “Thou shalt not watch television!” then you are wrong! I think you get the point!
And what happens is we become angry, bitter, and mad at those who refuse to see it our way and folks, there is no such thing as the fruit of anger, the fruit of bitterness, and-so-on. Those are all works of the flesh because we are working, using the flesh to produce these attitudes and actions in our lives!
But what if someone truly treats you unfairly? What if they do something to you that is wrong, to the point where it may hurt you? What if they are talking about you, saying things that are not true? Love them, pray for them, they may not want to talk to you but they can’t stop you from praying for them or loving them. Now some of you are thinking, “I can’t do that!” That is not true, it is not that you can’t do that, it is that you won’t, you refuse to let the Holy Spirit have all of your life and you hold onto things that He wants to purge from your life.
Listen carefully to what Jesus said we are to do in Matthew
5:43-48, “‘You have heard that it was said, 'You
shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’
But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse
you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully
use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father
in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good,
and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those
who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors
do the same? And if you greet your
brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the
tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be
perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.”
Also, in John 13:34-35 Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
You see, this is what God desires of you and me. You want to be like Jesus, then you need to manifest His love, His compassion, His attributes. Now, as impossible as that sounds in the flesh, we are never asked to do these things in the flesh but by the power of God’s Spirit!
Listen carefully to what the flesh is like as Paul tells
us in Galatians 5:19-21, “Now the works of the flesh
are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts
of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders,
drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand,
just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice
such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Now listen carefully to what the fruit of the Spirit is as Paul continues on in Galatians 5:22-25, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.” You see, the fruit of the Spirit is LOVE, AGAPE love, unconditional love and it is out of that love that joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness and-so-on flow out of!
It is easy to let the flesh get the better of us, for us to lose control but God wants us to surrender our lives to the control of His Spirit. Listen to what one person said in regards to “How to turn a disagreement into a feud” not to give you lessons in this, for we surely don’t need that, but to remind you of how easy it is and how foolish it is to go down this path, it is a warning not to!
1. Be sure to develop and maintain a healthy fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
2. If you must state your concerns, be as vague and general as possible. Then the other person cannot do anything practical to change the situation.
3. Assume you know all the facts and you are totally right. The use of a clinching Bible verse is helpful. Speak prophetically for truth and justice; do most of the talking.
4. With a touch of defiance, announce your willingness to talk with anyone who wishes to discuss the problem with you. But do not take steps to initiate such conversation.
5. Latch tenaciously onto whatever evidence you can find that shows the other person is merely jealous of you.
6. Judge the motivation of the other party on any previous experience that showed failure or unkindness. Keep track of any angry words.
7. If the discussion should, alas, become serious, view the issue as a win/lose struggle. Avoid possible solutions and go for total victory and unconditional surrender. Don’t get too many options on the table.
8. Pass the buck! If you are to get cornered into a solution, indicate you are without power to settle; you need your partner, spouse, bank, whatever.
Ron Kraybill, Tell it to the Church, p. 23
Now that, of course, is what not to do, but I want to share with you what you are to do, what you need to do in these situations, in fact, how to love people unconditionally because God has already told us what we need to do, love, forgive, and-so-on.
Turn with me to Exodus chapter 15 for a minute. We have gone through this section before but there is another point I would like to bring out that I think is very important. The children of Israel have been set free from their bondage in Egypt and are now traveling through the wilderness to the Promise Land, and we read beginning in verse 22 of Exodus chapter 15, “So Moses brought Israel from the Red Sea; then they went out into the Wilderness of Shur. And they went three days in the wilderness and found no water. Now when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter. Therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people complained against Moses, saying, ‘What shall we drink?’ So he cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a tree. When he cast it into the waters, the waters were made sweet.” Exodus 15:22-25.
You can imagine how it must have felt to be traveling through a desert for three days with no water and once they found water it is bitter, distasteful, they can’t drink it. So the people start to complain to Moses, they began to murmur, they were angry that Moses brought them into this situation and they became bitter towards Moses!
So Moses brings this to the Lord and the Lord instructs Moses to take this tree and cast it into those bitter waters and they will become sweet! Great story, but what does it mean to us!
Are you murmuring, complaining about a situation you are in? Have you become bitter towards someone because of what they said or did to you? You see, that word “murmur” can mean “to stay permanently; hence (in a bad sense) to be obstinate (especially in words, to complain).” In other words, you are in a situation that instead of giving it to God, you are obstinate, you refuse to let go, and you are going to prove that you are right no matter what!
So what is the solution? Not counting to ten! Not taking a time-out! Not forgiving but not forgetting! Then what can we do? Take a tree and place it in those bitter waters! Now you may be thinking “What good is planting a tree in some water going to do about the situation that I am in? That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!”
You have missed the point. Take the cross of Jesus and place it right in the middle of that bitter situation and let His love turn that bitterness in your heart to sweetness! It is as Peter said in I Peter 2:21-25, “For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: ‘Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth’; who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness -- by whose stripes you were healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and overseer of your souls.”
You see, when you look at all that God has done for you, how He has forgiven you of all your filthy sins, that He loves you unconditionally, how can you not forgive and forget? It is not that you can’t, it is that you won’t and that is the problem! Don’t harden yourself to what God wants you to do, be open and see the healing He will bring to your life, to your heart as you submit to His will!
The second point that I want to bring out, which I didn’t see before, is this. The word “tree” can also be translated “gallows” or “plank.” In other words, “hang them high” or “walk the plank” it speaks of death! What does death have to do with this issue? Everything! You see, you need to put those things on the cross, put them to death, get rid of them, and don’t let them remain in your life because they are not doing you any good! Remember what Paul said in Galatians 5:24, “And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” You see, these are issues of the flesh that need to be dealt with, crucified, and not fed!
Thus, we are not only to put the cross in those bitter issues of our heart to make them sweet, but we are to put to death those passions, those desires, that bitterness, those issues of the flesh on the cross, give them to God, crucify them and see what God will do in you and through you. You see, in the end, it doesn’t matter who is right and who is wrong in regards to non-foundational issues, what matters is are you willing to give it to God and allow His love to not only flow in you but through you? I pray that you are and I pray that I am also!
With Paul, Barnabas and John Mark, there was a healing that took place in their relationship because they were willing to give it to God – what a great lesson for us to learn and apply to our lives, to let the love of God flow through us and touch the lives of others, but that won’t happen if you refuse to submit your life to the Holy Spirit so His waters can keep your life soft and pliable for the Master Potter to mold and shape you into the man or woman He wants you to be!
If you don’t, things can get bad as this story illustrates for us:
An amusing news story from Wales told of a feud in a church looking for a new pastor. It read: “Yesterday the two opposition groups both sent ministers to the pulpit. Both spoke simultaneously, each trying to shout above the other. Both called for hymns, and the congregation sang two – each side trying to drown out the other. Then the groups began shouting at each other. Bibles were raised in anger. The Sunday morning service turned into a bedlam. Through it all, the two preachers continued trying to out shout each other with their sermons. Eventually a deacon called a policeman. Two came in and began shouting for the congregation to be quiet. They advised the forty persons in the church to return home. The rivals filed out, still arguing. Last night one of the groups called a let’s-be-friends’ meeting. It broke up in [an] argument. The item was headlined, ‘Hallelujah! Two Jacks in One Pulpit.’ It could have been bannered, “Two Factions in One Fellowship.”
-Source Unknown
We need God’s love and not more of our flesh, we have enough and it truly gets in the way and it does need to be crucified! What kind of love does God desire us to have? His love which Paul describes for us in I Corinthians chapter 13 and it is only obtained through His Spirit imparting it to us as we submit to Him. Let me close with these words regarding God’s love that should flow from our lives as Paul says tells us in
I Corinthians 13:4-8a, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. . .” May we have that kind of love and forgiveness towards people even if they don’t deserve it, for we don’t deserve it either and God gives it to us. May these things of God flow through our lives and touch the lives of others, that they would not only see God’s love in us, but in our actions, not just our words! If there is something that is causing you to be bitter, angry this morning, you need to give it to God, crucify those things and receive the sweetness back into your life!