I would like to wish all you fathers out there a happy Father’s Day. For me, this has been a difficult Father’s Day as my father passed away on January 19, 2004. I kind of felt he would always be there for me, he has been there for 45 years for me and now there is that void. He was a great dad and what I find interesting now is that he truly is still with us. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not getting weird on you, but what I am saying is that he lives through his children, the things he has instilled in his children, we are like him in many ways. Those lessons he taught his four sons live on, lessons not only taught by word but by the way he lived, the way he worked. He was a very hard worker and only missed a couple of days of work at the Post Office when he twisted his ankle. Thus, when he retired he had accumulated 2 months of sick days and got paid his regular salary for those 2 months after he was retired. I see those work ethics in my brothers and myself, doing your best, helping people even when you are tired. But most of all, even when he was tired, he always took the time to be with his children. I pray that my children have learned valuable lessons by what I have said and what I have done in my life, how I have lived as they were growing up.
Today, children seem to be a bother for some dads. They get in the way of their work, their play, they just don’t have the time for them, and that is tragic. Some of you may remember the song by Harry Chapin called Cat’s In The Cradle. The song does give to us a picture of what we shouldn’t do because there are consequences to our actions or non-actions. The song goes like this:
My child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking ‘fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He’d say, “I’m gonna be like you.”
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then.”
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, “Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let’s play.
Can you teach me to throw?” I said, “Not today,
I got a lot to do.” He said, “That’s ok.”
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, “I’m gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I’m gonna be like him.”
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
“When you coming home, dad?” “I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then.
You know we’ll have a good time then.”
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
“Son, I’m proud of you. Can you sit for a while?”
He shook his head, and said with a smile,
“What I’d really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?”
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
“When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then, dad.
You know we’ll have a good time then.”
I’ve long since retired and my son’s moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, “I’d like to see you if you don’t mind.”
He said, “I’d love to dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job’s a hassle, and the kid’s got the flu,
But it’s sure nice talking to you, dad.
It’s been sure nice talking to you.”
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He’d grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
“When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when,
But we’ll get together then, dad.
You know we’ll have a good time then.”
- Harry Chapin
Time goes to quickly by folks, and I can guarantee you that at the end of your life not one of you will be saying “I wish I spent more time at the office!” But some of you may be saying, “I wish I spent more time with my family!”
This morning I would like to look at a man who was a positive influence upon his spiritual son. The man is Moses and his spiritual son was Joshua, who was like a son to him, always by his side, learning lessons of faith and then he was to carry on the work after Moses died. In saying that, please turn in your Bibles to Deuteronomy chapter 31 and let’s begin reading in verse 1 and see what the Lord has for us.
For forty years Joshua was in training for this role, to lead the children of Israel into the Promise Land and now it was time! Moses taught Joshua to love the Lord, to trust in the Lord by the words he spoke and by the example he set as he lived out his faith, as he lived what he believed. As it has been said, most things are caught not taught! And so with the remainder of our time this morning I would like to look at the example of Moses upon Joshua, the impact he had and the end result!
In Exodus chapter 17 we see the children of Israel fighting against Amalek and Joshua led the charge. Interestingly enough Moses was not down in the valley fighting but up on a hill looking down upon the battle along with Aaron and Hur. What lesson was Moses teaching him, that when you are older you don’t have to be in these battles? Not at all, he was teaching Joshua the power of prayer to gain victory over the enemy. You see, as Moses lifted his hands in prayer unto the Lord, the children of Israel were winning and when his arms got tired and fell they began to lose. When that happened Aaron and Hur supported the arms of Moses and the Children of Israel were victorious.
Let your children see that you are a man of prayer, even in the darkest times, you pray believing that God will give the victory. You see, your children are watching you to see if you believe what you are telling them. Is your faith real?
Several years back, before we moved to Wisconsin, we were on vacation and we had our silver mini-van with us. We like to go exploring and Julie found a short cut for us to take, only she didn’t tell me we needed a four-wheel truck to get through. As I was driving the dirt road had so many huge holes that I thought I was on the Illinois Toll Road! Not only was the dirt road filled with holes, but it was also filled with water and before long I buried our van to the floorboards! We were miles from civilization with no way out. The only thing we could do is pray which should have been the first thing we did! Now I didn’t tell you this important point, there were not only bear footprints on the side of the road where we were stranded, but also bear droppings and I didn’t check to see if they were fresh, I was just hoping this bear didn’t like Italian food! After a short period of time, the Lord gave to us an idea and we lifted the wheels up with the jack and put wood into the whole filled with water and mud and we got out of the short cut that only added hours to our trip! The thing is our children saw the power of prayer, that our faith is real. For Joshua, he saw Moses and how he lived, how he believed in the power of prayer and it influenced his life. The power of prayer as a legacy to our children, may we give that to them!
In Exodus 24:12-13 we are told, “Then the LORD said to Moses, ‘Come up to Me on the mountain and be there; and I will give you tablets of stone, and the law and commandments which I have written, that you may teach them.’ So Moses arose with his assistant Joshua, and Moses went up to the mountain of God.” Moses takes Joshua with him to work you might say, in his daily life, doing things.
Invite your children to be a part of what you are doing. Make them feel that they are important and part of the family, let them see what you are doing. In a U. S. News & World Report we are told, “More than virtually any other factor, a biological father’s presence in the family will determine a child’s success and happiness.”
I remember when I was growing up and my dad had to take a part time job to help pay the bills, help support the family along with his full time job at the Post Office. He would clean this office complex after the workers went home, late in the evening. Now it was probably more work for my dad but on Friday nights he would take me with him to help clean the office, the bathrooms and-so-on. I learned not only my dad’s work ethics but I also felt important as my dad took the time to take me with him. I also learned that no job was too small to take when it came to the family, my dad would do whatever it took and I feel the same way. In fact, when the kids were young my wife and I delivered newspapers to help support our family and our kids were in the car with us as I tossed out the papers and my wife drove the car! Spend time with your children, in the long run you will not be sorry and you will make a positive impression upon them.
In Exodus chapter 32 we see Moses obtaining the commandments of God and we are told starting in verse 17, “And when Joshua heard the noise of the people as they shouted, he said to Moses, ‘There is a noise of war in the camp.’ But he said: ‘It is not the noise of the shout of victory, Nor the noise of the cry of defeat, But the sound of singing I hear.’” Exodus 32:17-18.
Here we see Moses correcting Joshua not condemning him or putting him down. Joshua thought a war broke out when he heard the noise but Moses tells Joshua it isn’t the noise of war but a party has broke out and it was not a good thing as the children of Israel were worshiping God by the idol they made, the golden calf. Correction is needed but in the right way!
In Proverbs 3:11-12 we are told, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.” There is a right way and a wrong way to correct your child. You are not to correct them by putting them down, making fun of them, but you are to build them up by showing them their error, make it a learning process. Yes, with younger children that will not always be possible and sometimes, depending on their age it is impossible and you need to do as Proverbs 22:15 says, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.” Now please understand we are not to physically abuse our children or verbally abuse them, but when they are young, discipline may mean the rod of correction, not the hand that is to nurture. In Proverbs 23:13-14 we are told, “Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.” Thus, correction not condemnation we are to give to our children.
We see this also played out in Numbers chapter 11 as God told Moses to gather 70 men to assist in the work of God and two of them did not show up, they remained in the camp and yet the Spirit of God did come upon them. And we are told in Numbers 11:27-29, “And a young man ran and told Moses, and said, ‘Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp.’ So Joshua the son of Nun, Moses' assistant, one of his choice men, answered and said, ‘Moses my lord, forbid them!’ Then Moses said to him, ‘Are you zealous for my sake? Oh, that all the LORD's people were prophets and that the LORD would put His Spirit upon them!’” Joshua thought he was doing right but Moses corrects him for missing the big picture; those men were serving the Lord. Again, correction not condemnation!
In Numbers chapter 13 Moses sends one person from each of the 12 tribes of Israel to go and spy out the Promise Land. One of the 12 men is Joshua. As children grow you need to let them go, to grow, to test their faith and we see that here. The 10 spies came back saying, “Where doomed! There are giants in the land and we are like grasshoppers!” While Joshua and Caleb said, “Daaaa! There may be giants in the land but God has given us this land flowing with milk and honey and so let’s go and take it! We can’t lose!” You see, Joshua’s faith was maturing, he was growing in the Lord, learning to trust in the promises of God and the same is true with our children, they need to see that God is real, they need to experience the power of God in their lives and in doing so their faith will grow.
David Blankenhorn said that “A good father does these basic things: provides for his family, protects his family, and gives spiritual and moral guidance.” Moses did this with Joshua and the result is found in what we are told in Numbers 27:15-23, “Then Moses spoke to the LORD, saying: ‘Let the LORD, the God of the spirits of all flesh, set a man over the congregation, who may go out before them and go in before them, who may lead them out and bring them in, that the congregation of the LORD may not be like sheep which have no shepherd.’ And the LORD said to Moses: ‘Take Joshua the son of Nun with you, a man in whom is the Spirit, and lay your hand on him; set him before Eleazar the priest and before all the congregation, and inaugurate him in their sight. And you shall give some of your authority to him, that all the congregation of the children of Israel may be obedient. He shall stand before Eleazar the priest, who shall inquire before the LORD for him by the judgment of the Urim. At his word they shall go out, and at his word they shall come in, he and all the children of Israel with him -- all the congregation.’ So Moses did as the LORD commanded him. He took Joshua and set him before Eleazar the priest and before all the congregation. And he laid his hands on him and inaugurated him, just as the LORD commanded by the hand of Moses.”
Moses taught Joshua about prayer, trusting in the promises of God. He taught Joshua by his personal example, by having Joshua next to his side. He corrected Joshua when he was wrong to build him up in the faith, to help him to grow, not to tear him down. He gave Joshua a time to grow, let him get his feet wet you might say, to apply the things of God to his life, trusting in God and learning to walk in faith. And now it was time to pass the torch on from Moses to Joshua and he does it before the people so they will support Joshua in the work that is before him, leading the children of Israel into the Promise Land.
And Joshua did bring the children of Israel into the Promise Land, he was a strong leader. Towards the end of his life he was exhorting the people to follow the Lord but no matter what they did, it was not going to change his relationship with the Lord. In Joshua 24:15 we are told, “And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” The influence upon the life of Joshua by Moses impacted his life greatly and it impacted the people he ministered to as we are told in Joshua 24:29-31, “Now it came to pass after these things that Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died, being one hundred and ten years old. And they buried him within the border of his inheritance at Timnath Serah, which is in the mountains of Ephraim, on the north side of Mount Gaash. Israel served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had known all the works of the LORD which He had done for Israel.”
Father’s, you too have a powerful influence upon your children. The problem today in America is that many homes have no father figure or if one is there, they really are not there. Now for you single moms, I truly believe God will honor your faithfulness as you care for your children. The point I want to make, in general, is fatherless homes can have a very negative impact upon children.
Let me show you what I mean from an article that was in The USA Weekend, Fatherless America, 2/24-26/95. We are told: “Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation. It is the leading cause of the decline in the well being of children. It is also the engine driving our most urgent social problems from crime to adolescent pregnancy to domestic violence.”
Not only that, but a National Summit on Fatherhood from back in 1994 tells us:
On October 27-28, the first National Summit on Fatherhood took place in Dallas. The summit was sponsored by the National Fatherhood Initiative, a new organization which emphasizes the irreplaceable role of fathers. The invitation – only event drew 300 civic, religious and cultural leaders from around the country. Following the opening address from Vice President Al Gore, 25 speakers and panel members, including Jeff Kemp, addressed the crowd on the subject of fathering and its effects on the family and society. Following are some of the interesting social trends and statistics that were discussed:
- Don Wallis and The Philadelphia Inquirer, Community Impact Bulletin, 12/6/94
I am not trying to scare anyone but I do want you to see the importance that a father plays in the family. And think about it, doesn’t Satan want to steal our families away, tear them apart? Of course he does! Satan has come to kill our families with the poison he is dispensing. Satan has come to destroy the family unit, making us confused about what a family is all about, who makes up a family. If we truly want to defeat what Satan is trying to do, and he is doing a great job right now, we must submit to God and to our families!
From the National Fatherhood Initiative we are told, “Committed fatherhood would do more to restore a normal childhood to every child, and dramatically reduce our nation’s most costly social problems, than all of the pending legislation in America combined.” You see, it doesn’t take a village to raise a child, but a committed father and mother, but fathers seem to have passed off the scene today! We need to have them return to their role as David Blankenhorn tells us, “The most urgent domestic challenge facing the United States at the close of the 20th century is the re-creation of fatherhood as a social role for men.”
You see, not only are we to train up our children in moral things, teaching them how to live, but as Moses did with Joshua, to build them up in the things of the Lord. This is what the Lord instructed the men of Israel to do with their children, “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.” Deuteronomy 11:18-21.
Father’s, you need to take the time and build your children up in the faith, teach them the Word of God. Dr. Michael Green tells us this in regards to what we teach our children, “Research has established that parents can have a significant impact in the religious beliefs and practices of their children. In one recent study it was found that fathers who frequently attend church (over three times per month), discuss religion at home, and are committed to their religion have sons who follow the same pattern concerning religious values and behavior. Interestingly, fathers who did not do these three things had an inconsistent pattern of influence over their son’s religious responses.”
- Dr. Michael Green, Kindred Spirit, Autumn, 1989, p. 11
How important is the role of a father to his children? It is very important, as we have seen. Men, don’t forget that, don’t negate your responsibility that God has entrusted to you. Be that influence in their life. Spend time in prayer with them and let them see you pray. Spend time with your children, take them with you, make them feel a part of the family and as you live out your faith, they will be watching! When you have to correct them do so in love with the idea of building them up and not in anger with the idea of tearing them down. And give them time to grow, to learn, to put into practice the things that you have taught them.
I can tell you from personal experience, that as hard as it was at times with my children, my faith was strong in the Lord, my children were not going to influence my faith even though they mocked me at times in their teenage years. I truly believe the principle that Solomon laid out in Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” They may have not been walking with the Lord but for me and my house, me and my wife, we were going to serve the Lord no matter what.
Just recently my oldest son came back to the Lord and what a joy, what an answer to six years of prayer! At our 25th wedding anniversary we had a renewal of our marriage vows and, unaware to me, he shared a few words about our marriage and the Lord and what a joy that was, it goes far beyond words, I can’t thank God enough and I look forward to the day when my youngest son will join us and we will worship the Lord together as a family, that is our prayer!
Father’s, never give up, never lose hope, for with men, yes things may seem impossible, but with God, all things are possible, look at what He did with us! I want to encourage you this morning to forge ahead, to continue on in the work, don’t give up because our children are too important.
Father’s, thank you for being godly men, notice I didn’t say perfect, because we are not and our children need to understand that, but we are godly men who love the Lord and want to pass that on to our children! And if you are overwhelmed right now, or when you are, let me encourage you with these words from Paul in Ephesians 3:20-21. We are told, “Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” The Amplified Bible puts these verses like this, “Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]--To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen (so be it).” And The Living Bible puts them like this, “Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of-infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. May he be given glory forever and ever through endless ages because of his master plan of salvation for the Church through Jesus Christ.”
I hope that gives you hope that what God has promised He is able to bring to pass. God has called us to do our part and He will faithfully do His! Children, give your dad a big hug and thank him for his time, his love, and the things he has taught you. And may we be able to say, not in a negative way but a positive way, MY SON IS JUST LIKE ME!