Happy Father’s Day to all you Dad’s out there and thank you for being the spiritual leader of your family.  It is not always easy and our society has truly changed their views in regards to father’s and their roles.  It was not that long ago that there were Television shows like Father Knows Best, where the father was respected, he knew what he was doing, he was not perfect, but he always tried to do what was right in leading his family, in training up his children.

Today, with the assault against the family unit, we see the father’s role as insignificant, he is a Duffus, he has no clue to what is going on and he is the problem in the family most of the time. There are and have been shows like Married With Children and The Simpson’s and others where the father is nothing more than an idiot who has no control of the family, the kids are in charge. There is no respect for him as a father, his actions and words are vulgar, and like I said, kids rule!  The latest, and saddest show to hit the Television is a show where they have filmed a family for a period of time, day in and day out to see how they function. The new role model for fathers is none other than the Rock Star, Ozzie Osborne.  His language, his behavior is repulsive and yet, as the News report stated, he is the new “role model for father’s.”  Not for me and I hope not for you!

Men, this study may be a little difficult for you, but I do pray that you may grow from it.  It was not easy for me, and yet I felt the Lord leading this study. So may you be encouraged and corrected if need be. And ladies, let your husband be the spiritual head of the family as God intended.  I am not saying a dictator, but he is to lead, and he will make mistakes, hopefully not the same ones over and over again, but give him a chance to be the husband, the father that God wants him to be!  Also, if you are a single parent, God has not forgotten you. Yes, it is difficult to raise a family with a husband and a wife, but to be a single parent and do it, it is tough, but I believe God will give you the grace you need to accomplish that task.

This morning, if you will, please turn in your Bibles to I Samuel chapter 2 as we examine how Eli the High Priest dealt with his sons for I think we can learn some lessons on what not to do as a father from him. And then we will conclude by looking at how our heavenly Father takes care of us, His children, for I believe we can learn some valuable lessons from that and apply that to our own lives in how we raise our own kids.

Before we begin reading from our text this morning, listen to this story that Charles Swindoll tells about his own life growing-up. He said:

I remember stealing six softballs when I was working as a stock boy in a five-and-dime store in my early years in high school.   And I remember trying to find a place to hide them when I got home.  I don’t know what in the world I planned to do with six softballs. To this day it just baffles me, the logic of it. But I stuck them in the back of my drawer and my mother found them. My father presented himself to me and told me that we were going to make a trip back to the store where I was going to talk to the owner and I was going to confess.

I will never forget his instruction on the way.  I mean, I was sitting there just dying thinking about it. It was just like passing razor blades to think about standing in front of my employer.  Well, I stood there and told him what I had done.  My dad was waiting in the car.  He didn’t go in with me. And I heard my boss say, “You’re fired.”

I stumbled back out to the car and sat down. I was as low as I could remember ever being. On the way, I remember my dad beginning to rebuild my emotions. I had done wrong, and I had learned an incredible lesson. He didn’t overdo it, but he drilled into me that when you steal, you get fired. And if you don’t get fired at the moment, you lose something that can’t be bought with any price, and that’s your self-respect. I remember, too, we got on the subject of what in the world I was gonna do with those six softballs.

But there was something about the ornament of grace that came around my neck from my father who before we went in the house took the time to put his arms around me and to understand. This teenage kid was most concerned about my father’s not telling my friends. And as far as I know, he took that story to his grave and never told on me.

- Charles R. Swindoll, The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart, p. 205  

It is not always easy to discipline your children, but if you don’t, you are sending them down a path of destruction where they feel there are no consequences for their actions. That is what we are going to see here with Eli as we begin reading in I Samuel chapter 2, starting in verse 12.

As you read through this portion of Scripture you see some major problems with the two sons of Eli, Hophni and Phinehas. First they abused their power in such a way that they caused the people to abhor coming to worship God. Secondly, they abused their power in such a way that they committed sexual immorality with the women who came to worship and serve the Lord!

Regarding the first issue, God ordained in the Law that the fat and the blood of the sacrificed animal belonged to Him. The blood was to be poured out upon the altar and the fat was to be burned.  Also, a portion was to be given to the priests, you might say as a tithe for them.  But here is the problem, the sons of Eli wanted the best for themselves, they didn’t want what God have given to them. So they forced the people to give to them and if they refused, they would be strong armed, they would use violence or the threat of violence so they could get what they wanted.  These were the sons of the High Priest, they were priests before God, and yet they did these horrible things to the people.  The end result is the people hated giving to God, it was distasteful to them.  They hurt the people they were suppose to help bring to the Lord!

The second sin of these men was sexual immorality.  You see, the women would gather or assemble at the door of the tabernacle of meeting to worship and serve the Lord.  But these men took advantage of them and forced them into having sex with them. They used their power, their position to take advantage of these servants of God. And there was much more evil, much more wickedness that Hophni and Phinehas did that their father, Eli, the High Priest, heard about and knew about!

What did this man do regarding his rebellious sons?  Listen to what I Samuel 2:23-24 says, “So he said to them, ‘Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all the people.  No, my sons! For it is not a good report that I hear. You make the LORD'S people transgress.’” It was not time for a lecture, these guys knew what they were doing, they were men, it was time for action on Eli’s part!  It is way beyond a lecture time and “Time outs!”  These young men needed a good swift kick in the pants and to be booted out of the priesthood.  Their actions disqualified them, I don’t care if their dad was the High Priest or not!

But Eli does not handle the situation that way. He basically tells them, “It is not good that you do these things!”  NO KIDDING!  You see, Eli, being the High Priest, was representing God, and he was their father, and thus, he was to do what was right, but he did the exact opposite. He honored his sons more than he honored God and in the end his sons, Hophni and Phinehas were both killed and Eli died when he heard that and that the ark of God was captured by the Philistines.

Fathers, you have an awesome responsibility in raising your children. You are the spiritual leader in your home or at least you should be!  They are watching you closely, how you handle situations, what you say, and-so-on.  I am always amazed at the number of fathers who don’t see going to church and worshiping God as being important.  They do have excuses, like; “It’s been a hard work week!” or “I’m tired and we are going to just sleep in!” or “The drive is too far!” or “We can worship God on this fishing boat as well as in the church!” or whatever the excuse is.   Do you see what you are teaching your children?  They see right through those lame excuses and they will use them on you as they grow up.  The thing is, Paul makes it very clear what we are to do as he says in Hebrews, “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”  Hebrews 10:24-25.

Then there is the issue of discipline.  Now, for a young child, the Bible says “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.”  Or as The Living Bible puts it, “If you refuse to discipline your son, it proves you don't love him; for if you love him, you will be prompt to punish him.”  Proverbs 13:24.  Please understand that I am not speaking of child abuse here, nor is God.  Do you really think God will give us things to harm our children?  Not at all, but He will give us things to help them!  Now there are times that talking to a child does nothing and the only way to get their attention is to give them a tap on the bottom. Why a rod?   Because the hand is there for love and comfort while the rod is identified here with discipline and correction.

Also, the time to do it is when the child did something wrong. Do it promptly, intervene quickly, don’t let them think they can get away with doing evil!  Don’t say “Wait till we get home!”  Do it when the problem occurs.  Also, by ignoring their actions, by trying to be their best friend, you are basically telling them that you don’t love them, you don’t care how they grow up.  I hope none of you feel that way but if you are not disciplining your children, that is exactly what you are doing!

Now for those of you who have teenagers, this too is a difficult thing.  The rod of discipline is not a factor any more, you are beyond that point now.  They are moving towards that independence and in doing that many feel they can do whatever they want, it is their right!  I disagree. If you are living under my roof, my authority, you must abide by my rules or there are consequences.  Now that may seem harsh, but believe me, I don’t have that many rules and I bet you don’t either.

Again, in Proverbs 19:18 we read “Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction.”  Or as The Living Bible puts it, “Discipline your son in his early years while there is hope. If you don't you will ruin his life.”  Do you see the thought here dads, you need to deal with those problems or they will keep pushing and pushing until there is no hope for them and their end result is because of your lack of discipline. You see, because of your negligence, they have set their lives on a path of destruction.

Now, let me say this. You may do all the right things and they still head down this path, and there is nothing you can do about that.  You do your part and they are then responsible for their actions.  Your responsibility is to deal with their wrong actions, that there are consequences to their behavior. If you don’t, like I said, they will keep pushing and pushing you until they get what they want and not what they need!

This is a very hard subject for me, as many of you know. I have two sons that have decided to do their own thing and both are out of the house now.  One is in college and the other is 17.  And some look at that and think that I don’t love my children.  I will tell you this, I love them so much that I could not allow them to do those things they were doing that were wrong and still live in my house.  You see, by allowing them to do those things and live in my house, I was saying that I approve, and I don’t!  They had a choice to make and they made it.  In fact, by me allowing them to continue doing those things and not holding them accountable would disqualify me for the ministry, my house would not be in order!

Now some may argue, “What is the big deal?  A few cigarettes, some beer, experimenting with drugs.  They are kids and they are going to do those things!”  Maybe that is what Eli thought and he lost his whole family because of it!  As fathers, we need to honor God more than we do our children for in doing that, we will set the example for them to follow. But, when we think that our children’s friendship is more important than honoring God, it shows we really don’t love them!  Sorry, but that is the truth!

Let me give you an illustration of what I mean. It is titled, “Letting Children Free to Develop?”  It goes like this:

Coleridge was once talking with a man who told him that he did not believe in giving little children any religious instruction whatsoever.  His theory was that the child’s mind should not be prejudiced in any direction, but when he came to years of discretion he should be permitted to choose his religious opinions for himself.

Coleridge said nothing; but after a while he asked his visitor if he would like to see his garden. The man said he would, and Coleridge took him out into the garden, where only weeds were growing. The man looked at Coleridge in surprise, and said, “Why this is not a garden! There is nothing but weeds here!”

“Well, you see,” answered Coleridge, “I did not wish to infringe upon the liberty of the garden in any way, I was just giving the garden a chance to express itself and to choose its own production.”

- Paul Lee Tan, Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations, 1348

Do you see how important it is to train up your child, to discipline them, to instill in them right from wrong, so that as they grow, they will not depart from these lessons you have taught them. Again, some of you may have a hard time with this, you may have a problem with this, but don’t believe me, look at what God has to say, look at the way He disciplines us, His children.  In Proverbs 3:11-12 we are told, “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, nor detest His correction; For whom the LORD loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.”

When we as Christians go astray, do things that are wrong, the Lord chastens us, He corrects us, he takes us out to the wood shed you might say to get our attention and to get us back on track once again, but we do have a choice.  Why? Does He hate us that much?  No, it is the exact opposite. He loves us so much that He takes the time, the effort to chasten us. 

Turn to Hebrews chapter 12 for a minute and let’s begin reading in verse 5, which says,  “And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: ‘My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives.’  If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten?  But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons.  Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live?  For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.  Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.”  Hebrews 12:5-11.

Please understand that if you are chastened by God it just shows that you are His son, adopted into the family of God through Jesus Christ.  If you can get away with all kinds of evil, if you feel no conviction when you do wrong, if there is no chastening, maybe you are not a child of God! And do you see what the chastening of God does in our lives?  It is a great big kill joy, right?  Wrong!  It is done to make us into a holy people, there are blessings in doing what is right, not cursing.  God is making us into His image. The thing is, when we do wrong we need to be aware and correct that and if we don’t, God will chasten us because He loves us!

Now if our heavenly Father does that for us because He loves us that much, and if He is our example to follow, we need to do the same for our children. Yes, it is hard when you discipline your children.  Many times it is harder on you for you have to stop an activity you had planned, but it is for their benefit.  Now, you can take the easy way out and do nothing or just ignore their behavior, but you are setting a bad example for them to follow and they will keep pushing and pushing to get what they want once you start letting them get away with things.

Now dad’s, before you feel too beat up here this morning, none of us are perfect. If you are struggling with these issues, bring them before God and He will help you.  Don’t negate your responsibility of being the spiritual leader of your family.  You set the tone, you bring them to church because it is that important to you and it will become that important to them!  You show your children how important Bible reading and studying is.  You show your children how important prayer is.  You be the example to them and when needed, you need to discipline them to keep them on track, giving them lessons they will take with them the rest of their lives.

I also want to thank you for being there for your children.  In a world that says kids are in the way, you are swimming against the flow and telling your children they are important!  Now they might not always appreciate what you are doing now, but it is important and I believe that down the road they will appreciate what you did for them.  Keep up the good work, look to the Lord to be your example of what a loving father is to be.

As I begin to close this morning I want to leave you with this story that is titled, “Forces Me To Lie Down.”  It goes like this:

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures...”   The verb here is strong: He compels me, he forces me to lie down in green pastures.

An American traveling in Syria became acquainted with a shepherd.  Each morning, he noticed the shepherd carrying something to the sheep. The traveler followed him one morning and found that he was taking food to one sheep that had a broken leg. As he looked at the animal, he said to the shepherd, “How did the sheep break its leg? Did it meet with an accident, fall into a hole or did some animal break the leg?”

“No,” said the shepherd, “I broke this sheep’s leg myself.”

“You broke it yourself?” queried the surprised traveler.

“Yes, you see, this is a wayward sheep; it would not stay with the flock, but would lead the sheep astray. Then it would not let me near it. I could not approach it, and so I had to break the sheep’s leg that it might allow me, day by day to feed it.  In doing this it will get to know me as its shepherd, trust me as its guide, and keep with the flock.”

- Robert Boyd Munger

Now dad’s, don’t go saying to your children, “If you don’t listen to me Pastor Joe gave me permission to break your legs!”  Sounds Italian to me, but that is not what I am saying.  If you don’t deal with your children when they are doing evil, you will not only be harming them but those who come in contact with them.  Also, don’t dwell on the wrong your kids are doing, deal with it, but encourage them for the good they are doing, for I am sure the good far outweighs the bad.  Encourage them to grow in the Lord, be an example to them, and watch them grow and become mature adults!  Love them as the Lord loves you and you will be doing good!

Let me leave you with these words to encourage you from Psalm 78, which says, “Give ear, O my people, to my law; incline your ears to the words of my mouth.  I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings of old, Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us.  We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done.  For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children; That the generation to come might know them, the children who would be born, that they may arise and declare them to their children, That they may set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments.”  Psalm 78:1-7.  May the Lord richly bless you and make you into the father’s that He wants you to be.